Something I just don't get (family support for collectors)

[mayergirl]

I was reading the board, and I realized how many people here don't have home support for our collections. I'm pretty lucky, my family and friends are either supportive or indifferent, and much of my extended family collects as well. I just was thinking it was sad that some people don't understand why we collect. I mean, we all collect something that has captured our imagination and makes us happy, plus it's something we can actually do things with. Almost everybody collects something, whether they know it or not, but not everyone gets the joy out of it that we do. I mean, it's our passion and our money, why should it ever bother someone else? I mean, there are lots of people who collect things like Precious Moments, which are adorable, but have no play value, and no one says anything to them. People collect baseball cards without being ridiculed. What's so different about dolls? I hope that everyone here who faces that will just remember that their dolls make them happy, and not let these strange unsupportive people bug them! Anyone else think it's weird that people don't get it?

<font color="#33CCCC" size="1">[ May 18, 2007 09:42 PM: Message edited by: djsnjones ]</font>

[heidiabigail]

Well, here's my story. My mom and daddy encouraged my collection until I was about 17 . . .then they kind of stopped buying me stuff for my dolls. I bought Josefina and Marisol and a fixer-upper Felicity and my mom was appalled that I was spending money on dolls at my age. I am in college, and I guess she thinks my money would be better spent elsewhere. She says she hopes I can sell them for more than I bought them for. She doesn't get it. So, I have stopped telling her about what I buy. I know have a second Marisol, a Kit and an AG21 that she doesn't know about. And, as I am saving for next semester and Christmas, I still hope to have enought to buy a second-hand Addy, another Kit, a mattel Josefina, an Arwen and a pre-mattel bright read-haired Felicity. I have given up on asking for AG things for christmas, so this year I asked for a digital camera (little does she know, it is so I can make AG albums for the board!!).

[cami713]

I'm going to say that I imagine there are plenty of people who collect Precious Moments and who collect baseball cards who ARE ridiculed. Maybe not as collectively as doll collectors are, though.

I think part of why people laugh at doll collectors over the age of 14, especially play dolls, is that "no adult should be playing with dolls." If it WAS just something to look at, I think it would be an entirely different story. But, then my view is, why pay that much money for something you just want to look at?

I agree with you 100% that everyone collects something, and I know I think some things that people collect are just weird and kind of stupid, but that's not my place to judge them or the things they like to collect. Just like I don't think it's anyone else's place to think I'm crazy because I collect AG dolls.

I hate to say that I don't think it's weird in the least that some people don't get it. I know I don't get lots of other "collectible" things, my aunt used to collect Harmony Kingdoms, and god those things are ugly. I didn't get it (still don't), but that doesn't mean I think she's weird because she likes them.

That said, my mom and grandparents are really nice about my collecting AGs, and most of my friends willingly tolerate my talking about them for a few minutes at a time. I think it's a bit much for anyone to chastise anyone for anything they collect, but I don't mind in the least if people think I'm weird.

[aggirl479]

EVERYONE I know thinks I am too old for dolls, and I am not even a teenager yet! Even my doll-collecting grandmother who has tons of ugly porcelain dolls (okay, maybe one or two are cute) doesn't support it. I have tryed to explain to my mom that it is my hobby, my fun thing that I love to do, but she just says that it is a very expensive hobby. Although, she does continue to buy me AG things, thank goodness, because otherwise I couldn't get them. My mom does like some AG things (such as the historical dolls' dolls [img]smile.gif[/img] ). But what bugs me is that for the past few years, I have been putting AG outfits (even listing the ones I like) and AG gift cards on my Christmas and birthday wish lists, and NOBODY in my extended family has EVER bought me anything AG. They've never even said anything about it. It's like when they got the email with my wish list, they just deleted the part that said, "American Girl Gift Cards and Outfits." I am thankful that I have a mom who at least is willing to buy me AG things on occasion (sp?), but I just wish that somebody else in my family understood why I like them so much.

[amandajg]

Yes, thank goodness for the support - or, rather, ENCOURAGEMENT [img]rolleyes.gif[/img] [img]biggrin.gif[/img] - that this board provides! I think that generally we can all identify with knowing at least one person who refuses to understand or support or collection. But as we've re-iterated countless times, it really doesn't make sense that people (usually men) collect die cast cars or trading cards or even still play with legos and then they ridicule our love of American Girl Dolls. Personally, I blame my collecting gene on my dad who has hoarded dozens and dozens of die-cast Nascar cars and autographed sports memorabilia over the years, yet he still looks upon my love of AG as quaint and amusing. Even my brother, who says (although I don't think he necessarily believes it) that my collecting AGs is stupid has a rather large collection of Formula 1 model cars and the like. And I have guy friends who still play with Legos. so... what's so wrong with my love of AG, again? Luckily my mom is pretty indifferent to it (even though she refuses to buy me anything from AG for Christmas) and my grandma likes to see my collection (she's the only one who really understands, I think, since she still lovingly takes care of and displays her childhood doll, c. 1930's, at her home).

[mayergirl]

I guess my real question is, why do some people think adults shouldn't play with dolls? I mean, no one criticizes adult men for spending hours in front of an x-box (ok, so maybe it gets annoying, but no one thinks they're too old to play) There are dozens of ways to play that are hardly limited to children, I just wonder why playing dolls is seen as childish. Adults have been collecting dolls for quite some time. It's just a stupid double standard.

[amandajg]

I think you answered your own question... it's just a stupid double standard. Those of us on this board are definitely "fighting the system"!!! [img]wink.gif[/img]

[felicityprincess04]

mayergirl...I agree 100% on the x-box thing. My 40 year old stepdad spends his LIFE on the x-box. I don't understand why its so bad to collect dolls...

My dad supports me, but he doesn't necessarily like the dolls. My mom, my mom is a whole different story. She thinks they are COMPLETELY childish. When I wanted AGT#25, I told her and I said that I think I'm going to save up for her. My mom told me that I should save up for something more useful, and something that I would be proud to show my friends (because I hide my dolls when they come over-yes I am very embarassed [img]redface.gif[/img] ). My mom won't get me anything AG and I had to plead and beg for 3 months to take a trip to AGPNY. She just cannot understand why I still play with them. I told her its something that makes me happy and she said "good for you" but she still won't support me. If I start talking about my dolls she will cut me off in the middle and ask me about school or my homework or something. [img]graemlins/cry.gif[/img] Oh well. I don't collect to make her happy.

Elle [img]graemlins/rose.gif[/img]

[cami713]

As both a gamer (a bad one, but I try), and an AG collector, I really don't think they're similar.

They make video games for adults, and play dolls aren't made for adults. I mean if a grown man was sitting there playing some Sesame Street Learn to Count game for hours, I think most people would find that really weird. But playing a game made for an adult male isn't in the slightest bit weird, IMO.

I really think it's all a matter of opinion. I don't really find it weird that people do anything they do, but I can totally understand how some adults would find it strange to see grown women playing with dolls, and taking pictures of them, and all that stuff. And I can see why you, or someone else, would find it weird that a guy can sit down and play the same video game for days, (yes, days).

Me, I don't find either weird. I don't make albums of my dolls, and I doubt I'll ever do more than "this is so and so modeling so and so outfit" but I don't think it's weird that so many people on the board (adult, or no) does so. I also don't find it weird to play the same game for hours/days/weeks. I hardly ever get into a game, but when I do, I can be absorbed in it for hours, (and hours the next day and the day after) and not even notice I've been playing for 5 hours.

I don't really think it's a double standard, I just think people are far too judgemental of others. I simply don't understand why anyone *CARES* what anyone else does with their money or time.

[only1genevieve]

I don't know why there is such a double standard.

I will say, however, I DO think it is a male female thing - sorry. I have three brothers. When they are in a toy store, looking at action figures, or picking out video games, no-one gives them a second glance. If I'm in a Toys R Us, looking at Toys (any toys) people give me the evil eye. Somehow, when men are interested in toys (action figures, model trains, airplanes) it's a "hobby." When women are interested in toys, it's "coquettish" and they are said to be childish.

As a little girl, I noticed that around nine or ten, the emphasis switched from playing dolls, etc. to playing "grown up," in other words, girls are expected to start playing like they are adults at a young age: buying pretend make up, dress up, etc. Starting at ten, a lot of girls my OWN age were telling me I was too old for dolls. If I showed them the AG catalog, invariably mom would appear and reinforce the idea that they were "too old for dolls." This whole "I have to look like Britney Spears" mentality stems from that, I think. Girls still need to play pretend and express creativity, if they can't have toys, they are going to look for other outlets.

As an adult, in the toy department, I still hear this all the time. A little girl, barely eleven, stops to look at the baby dolls and the mom says, "You're too old for dolls." It's like there's a huge rush to get girls into being adults and teenagers. I don't understand it.

That being said, for my part, my family, being toy lovers, are all very understanding. My mom loves dolls as much as I do, and my brothers can relate since they still collect transformers and Legos (they're in their twenties, too). My BF understands, too--he's gotten AG outfits for me for special occaisions, a dollhouse for my Birthday, and for our anniversary got me a Disney Little Princess doll [img]biggrin.gif[/img] . He uses the video game analogy, too.